Using someone’s correct pronouns isn’t just polite; it’s a sign of respect, belonging, and inclusion. Check out these tips to get it right with pronouns…
Pronouns 101:
Instead of assuming, try:
“Hi, I’m [name], and my pronouns are she/her. How about you?”
If you’re not sure what someone’s pronouns are, you can use “they” when referring to them instead of “he” or “she” until you’re told their pronouns.
Include your pronouns in email signatures, Zoom names, and introductions.
Don’t say “What are your preferred pronouns” as that frames pronouns as optional or a choice. Think about your own pronouns; they’re not preferred, they just are, they are you. Instead, say “What are your pronouns?” Easy!
If you get someone’s pronouns wrong:
Mistakes happen! You don’t need to make a big deal about it; in fact, being overly apologetic can put the focus on the person you have misgendered to soothe and comfort you. Instead, say “Oh yes, sorry, ‘they’ said…” or “Sorry about that, thanks for correcting me! So, did you see that new show…”
Acknowledge it, apologize, and move on. It’s simple!
Don’t give excuses for why you made a mistake, or talk about how hard it is for you; just keep practicing.
Why pronouns matter:
Using chosen names and correct pronouns helps people feel seen and respected, especially those whose identities are often overlooked and marginalized. It signals that your space is safe, welcoming, and inclusive for everyone. Sharing your pronouns first, especially if you’re cisgender, can easily demonstrate to others that you’re respectful and open to other experiences.
These small actions can have a huge impact! You may be the only one in a trans person’s life to acknowledge their humanity, and that can literally be life-saving.
By Alexis Martin (she/her)
If you haven’t yet had the opportunity, make sure to order a copy of Elmer Dixon’s powerful memoir DIE STANDING: From Black Panther Revolutionary to Global Diversity Consultant and check out what others have been saying about Elmer and his story.
Check out these other opportunities to see what folks are saying about Elmer and his continued work.
- See Elmer speak at Stories from the Revolutions’ Front Lines at his keynote at TEDxUTulsa
- Listen to Elmer talk on NPR’s The Jefferson Exchange
- Read about Elmer’s story in a piece featured in The Seattle Times
- Listen to Elmer on The Medium