28 Nov Is Using the Wrong Pronouns a Crime?

Talk of pronouns is a hot topic at the moment and many people seem to be confused. But does that confusion lead to criminal action? Is it illegal to call someone by the wrong pronoun? The internet doesn’t help by throwing out scary headlines and exaggerated takes. Let’s break it down together.

What are pronouns?

We are all already very familiar with pronouns, we use them all the time. She, he and they are pronouns as well as words such as:

• Me
• You
• Who
• It
• Others
• Ours

Grammarly shares this definition “Pronouns are words (or phrases) you substitute for nouns when your reader or listener already knows which noun you’re referring to. For example, you might say, “I have a dog. She’s brown and white.” There’s no need to clarify that you’re describing your dog in the second sentence because you already mentioned her in the first. By using the pronoun she, you can avoid the annoying repetition of the dog.”

Misgendering: Social Blunder or Legal Issue?

So what happens if you get it wrong and use the wrong pronoun? Using the wrong pronouns, intentionally or not, is not inherently a crime. In some places repeated and deliberate misgendering someone (using incorrect pronouns) can constitute harassment or discrimination. It’s more often considered disrespectful or hurtful, particularly when done deliberately. Misgendering can make people feel unseen, invalidated, or even unsafe. It’s similar to calling someone the wrong name repeatedly, we know that it’s not respectful and sometimes people get names wrong and sometimes people get pronouns wrong and no one will be arrested for simple mistakes. Laws typically step in only when the behavior crosses into harassment or discrimination territory.

When Pronouns Meet Policy

In some countries, misgendering can be part of broader legal frameworks designed to protect against discrimination. For example:

1. Canada: Under Bill C-16, misgendering might be considered a form of discrimination if it occurs in a way that violates someone’s rights under the Canadian Human Rights Act. For instance, refusing to use correct pronouns repeatedly in the workplace could qualify as harassment. 
2. The U.S.: There’s no federal law requiring pronoun use, but many states and cities have anti-discrimination laws that protect gender identity. In New York City, intentional and persistent refusal to use someone’s correct pronouns can lead to fines under the city’s Human Rights Law. 

These policies aren’t about punishing honest mistakes. They’re about addressing intentional behavior that creates a hostile environment for marginalized groups.

Honest Mistakes Are OK – Intent Matters

Most policies make a clear distinction between an honest mistake and deliberate misgendering. If you accidentally slip up and quickly correct yourself, you’re showing good intent. The law won’t fault you for that. The problem arises when someone repeatedly ignores someone’s stated pronouns out of malice or indifference. If this seems unfair then imagine a male colleague who is cisgender (meaning their gender aligns with their sex assigned at birth) and you kept referring to him as “she or her” or vice versa with a female colleague. It would be inappropriate and not something most people would do.

Why Pronouns Matter

For many, pronouns are more than just words; they’re tied to identity. Respecting pronouns isn’t just about “political correctness.” It’s about recognizing someone’s humanity. A small act of acknowledgment can go a long way toward making people feel included and respected. 

So, Is It a Crime?

No, using the wrong pronouns isn’t a crime. However, under certain circumstances, like in workplaces, schools, or public services, it could contribute to legal complaints if it’s part of discriminatory behavior. The focus isn’t on punishing people for innocent mistakes but rather on ensuring environments are free from targeted harm.

What Can You Do?

If you’re unsure about someone’s pronouns, the simplest thing to do is ask politely! First, you can share your pronouns and then ask their name and pronouns. And if you mess up, just apologize and move on. You don’t need to make a big deal about it or beg for forgiveness. We’re all human, and what matters most is effort and respect.

If you haven’t yet had the opportunity, make sure to order a copy of Elmer Dixon’s powerful memoir DIE STANDING: From Black Panther Revolutionary to Global Diversity Consultant and check out what others have been saying about Elmer and his story. 

Check out these other opportunities to see what folks are saying about Elmer and his continued work. 

• See Elmer speak at Stories from the Revolutions’ Front Lines at his keynote at TEDxUTulsa
• Listen to Elmer talk on NPR’s The Jefferson Exchange
• Read about Elmer’s story in a piece featured in The Seattle Times
• Listen to Elmer on The Medium

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