05 Apr Five Curve Balls Thrown During DEI Trainings (and How to Respond)

“I don’t see color.”

“Isn’t this an HR issue?”

These are among any number of misunderstandings and challenges that may come up during Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) trainings. First, it’s good to remember the 70-20-10 rule from the Center for Creative Leadership: Individuals tend to learn 70% of their knowledge from challenging experiences and assignments, 20% from developmental relationships, and 10% from coursework. (CCL, 2020). In other words, challenging experiences during training may be the best growth opportunity for both the trainer and participants.

That said, there’s nothing like being caught off-guard when you are in the front of the room facilitating a conversation. This article checks in with top DEI and leadership experts on the most common objections they hear from participants during DEI trainings, to help equip you with language to respond, whether it’s in a classroom setting or everyday conversation.

Language Paralysis

People can be paralyzed by fear of saying the wrong thing. While you may immediately think this applies to terms about race and ethnicity, it starts before you get into a training. Is it Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion? Or is the “E” for Engagement? What about A for Access? And where is Neurodiversity included? “If (white people like me especially) don’t have some guidance and agreement and context about which problems they’re trying to solve they don’t jump in as readily,” says Lee Mozena, a cross-cultural trainer and communications specialist, founder of Zena Consulting and an associate of Executive Diversity Services (EDS). In response, Lee has developed a presentation specifically on the language of DEI to address that. Starting with definitions establishes a common language. Plus if someone feels they are using a word incorrectly, they can always blame the presenter! It takes the pressure off the individual.

Great Idea, but It Won’t Work Here

Tracy Brown is a nationally recognized expert, TEDx speaker, author and consultant who works in the DEI space and around ending race-based violence and hatred. She is also has been a Senior Trainor at EDS for over 25 years. She shares this curveball she hears in trainings:

“You don’t understand. That’s a great idea, but it won’t work here.”

The response to this is less about the “answer” from the trainer and more about the strategy of who is in the room during organizational DEI trainings. “Don’t put your trainer in the position of having to prove the organization’s commitment to the DEI initiative,” advises Tracy. “Always have an internal leader who is respected or who is a known authority introduce the session. If you can’t have a senior leader at every session, use a video recording from the CEO or other key leader to explain why the training is important to the organization,” she says. Tracy suggests leaders share a personal story about how they have applied the content (or why DEI is personally important to them) when talking about their company’s DEI initiative.

Request and plan for this involvement in training sessions in advance. “During this welcome, the leader can transfer some of their credibility to the trainers (whether internal or external) by saying why they value the trainers delivering this course. Have them end with a call to action or an expectation for the people taking the class.”

My Manager Needs to Hear This

“I agree with everything you’re saying, but my manager needs to come to this training.”

“Did you say the managers had already done this training? They sure don’t act like it.”

This is a common refrain that Tracy has heard in her DEI trainings. “If people managers and executives receive training separate from individual contributors and front-line staff, be sure to build in specific calls to action that require them to talk about the training and practice the tools,” says Tracy, who also has addressed this in real-life situations. “It’s smart to also provide organizational leaders with bulleted talking points or prepared content they can share with their team members. This will not only give more visibility to your DEI initiative, but it will result in higher levels of competence, confidence and credibility for your leaders.”

This is Great, for Those Other People Who Need It

Mercedes Martin, also a Senior Trainer with EDS for over 25 years, is a business and leadership development consultant and founder of Mercedes Martin & Co. In trainings, she is a fan of the “pivot question.” When someone says, “we don’t have a racism or diversity problem here,” Mercedes might respond “Can you share what you mean by a racism or diversity problem?” Or “what are the experiences that led you to this idea?” That shifts from the person to the ideas. It “makes room to consider how social beliefs and structures impact the organization’s internal systems,” and makes it comfortable to share their ideas, without it feeling like an attack on specific people.

Mercedes uses the analogy of the “lens and the mirror.” Trainers can use pivot questions to get people talking not only about the lens that influences their experience of the workplace, but also the mirror, which invites deeper self-reflection and awareness, a cornerstone of cultural competence.

Elmer Dixon, President of EDS adds another layer to the idea of self-reflection when he’s been asked by a training participant: “Why do I have to be the one to change?” If a goal of DEI training is to become more effective in communicating and engaging across cultures, “the responsibility falls on the person who has the information,” says Elmer. “This is about adapting to be more effective.”

Preparing for Objections to DEI Training in Advance

Many of these curveballs arise from misunderstandings about the purpose of DEI training and how to engage in conversations about it. Sometimes, however, they are in response to the actual content or confusion about what DEI is. All EDS training is designed in such a way as to challenge objections before they happen.

“We call this the inoculation. Inoculations occur in an opening slide titled Reminders for the Day, that anticipate how people may respond,” says Elmer. For example, in the past, people entered a DEI training thinking the content was about Affirmative Action or EEO compliance. “We stated in reminders that the session was not about legal issues. It’s about how to create inclusion. So you won’t hear about legal-based mandates like Affirmative Action or EEO,” Elmer adds.

More recently, because of national events leading up to 2020, Dixon shares they are finding that some people come into the training room thinking that DEI is political and belongs to one political party. “How you embrace people and welcome them has no political foundation,” Elmer advised in a recent inoculation. “Everyone has a right to feel like they matter in an organization and are included, regardless of political orientation.” (Look for a deeper dive into using inoculations for effective training in next month’s newsletter.)

Living in the Ambiguity

A facilitator leads effectively by making participants the focus and providing discussion prompts that enable each person to contribute. The facilitator’s role is to draw out responses so that participants get ideas from one another. As facilitators, our best response may be to check our own triggers, to remain objective. And then push back to a question with a question that connects the issue to the workplace. For example, someone saying “it’s not my responsibility to teach my colleagues about racism.” Turn this around with a question. “How could sharing how you experience the world help you in working better with your colleagues.” Or validate the comment, and then ask others in the room, “how might that help or hinder your work together at your company?”

And on those opener questions about being color-blind or deferring to HR? Denying that difference exists relies on adherence to the norms of the majority. That is in direct opposition to the purpose of DEI which is to recognize and embrace innovation and diversity of ideas that different perspectives bring—when people feel comfortable bringing their full selves to work. And as far as DEI being an HR-only issue, an effective DEI strategy will permeate every corner of an organization, as it strives for transformational change.

Challenge, Support, and the “Throwback”

EDS uses the strategy of “challenge and support”, challenging harmful comments made about diverse populations while supporting them with new or different information. Participants are encouraged to speak up in trainings that are, by design, interactive. “If someone makes a comment that is borderline around race or ethnicity or gender it’s important to challenge that statement with different information and tools, while not validating a controversial statement,” says Elmer.

Another important strategy is “The Throwback”, in which you ask other participants in the training session to offer their opinion on the topic. This is particularly useful when you realize that others are irritated by the comments and have shown support for the content.

DEI training starts with the idea that people come to the table with different beliefs, be they personal beliefs or about what they think their organization needs to succeed. Challenging questions and ideas in training give a wonderful opportunity for trainers to model language, to uncover assumptions or misunderstandings, and ultimately everyone in the room grows.